Black Hellebore Read online

  Maya Shepherd

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Black Hellebore

  Novel | E-Book

  Copyright ©2013 Maya Shepherd

  Other books by Maya Shepherd: | The Scarred Girl

  For my soulsister

  “Once I was cold,

  Promise

  Black Hellebore

  Novel

  E-Book

  Copyright ©2013 Maya Shepherd

  Cover: The Cover Collection

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted, with the exception of a reviewer who may quote passages in a review, without written prior permission from the publisher.

  Facebook: Maya Shepherd

  Blog: www.mayashepherd.blogspot.de

  Twitter: Maya Shepherd

  English Translation by Bellinda Zabcic

  Other books by Maya Shepherd:

  The Scarred Girl

  For my soulsister

  Sabrina Stocker

  “Once I was cold,

  And for me there was no warmth.

  Once I was hungry,

  And for me there was no nourishment.

  Once I was sad,

  And for me there was no comfort.

  She took me in,

  She fed me.

  She clothed me.

  In her arms I found comfort.

  I cried till blood ran from my eyes

  And she kissed them away.”

  (from the book of NOD)

  - Prologue -

  Her feet are bloody and blistered from the scorching desert sand. The sun beats down mercilessly on her unprotected head, while the skin of her naked body begins to flake. Her parched lips are cracked and torn. She seems to be close to death – but things are not always as they seem. She sheds the dead sheath of her old skin with a reptilian ease, only to re-emerge in full bloom.

  Even in her current state with her flaking skin and features burned beyond anything recognisable as human, any man who would glimpse her for just the fleetest second would fall for this creature without any thought or reason. As if in the grasp of an impossible mirage, he would fall to his knees before her burned and blistered feet, ready and willing to do her bidding – whatever that might be. But she would pass him by without a single glance while his entire being would beg for her to notice him, cringing in the dust like a dog eager to please his mistress. There will never be another man worthy of the blood red gaze of her eyes.

  Betrayal is man’s most loyal companion. She left her first of her own free will because he wanted to break her will. He wanted to own her whole being as one would a slave. The second, who would no longer walk this Earth without her, cast her away in fear of becoming her minion. She had taken him in when he was lost and lonely, had given him sustenance, warmth and even a love that could have lasted through the ages. But he had preferred the company of the unworthy because he had recognised her immeasurable beauty and power. He knew he would never – could never – be her equal.

  It would have been so easy to snuff out his life, but she is the mistress of time itself. Her life is longer than that of any other – why then should she end a life she could toy with for centuries to come? Patience is a virtue only few can call their own – but she is the mistress of time. She can wait. She will remain in the shadows as a silent observer and will wait until he begins to feel safe once again, because he would never be able to forget her. Nobody, who has ever met her, was ever able to forget her.

  Driven by hatred, she continues on, setting one foot in front of the other, day after day, night after night. She has eternity at her disposal, enough time to devise the most brutal revenge, and it shall come as an utter surprise. Nobody will see it coming, which will make it that much more cruel and merciless.

  She will destroy every last one of his disgusting creations, until the last of his creatures are gone. They are weak and without hope. So much different from the children she will bring into this world, glowing with the beauty and power she will bestow on them. Her children will be the true masters of this Earth, perfect to the last detail and with the brains they will need to rule and think – not just to carry around a pretty face.

  As she finally reaches the edge of the Red Sea, her feet bring the water to a boil at every step. It bubbles around her blistering skin as if it were touching red-hot coals. Her form is obscured by thickening veils of rising steam with every step she takes deeper into the water. Like an evening mist it begins to spread towards the land, diminishing only as she turns and walks back towards the shore. The setting sun makes her hair glow like red flames around her head, creating a startling contrast to the emerald green of her eyes. Gone is the flaked, blistered skin, replaced by a velvety suppleness, smoother than that of a newborn child.

  The goddess of life has awakened, as young as the Earth, and she will only cease to be once the Earth herself fades and dies.

  - 1. Lia Green -

  She tries to make herself as small and invisible as possible on the hard chair, staring straight ahead with empty eyes. The first few chords of Metallica’s “Nothing else matters” come from the earphone slyly pushed into her right ear, with the volume turned low enough that only she can hear the music. She had meant to use the other ear to listen to her history teacher droning on about the effects of the First World War, but instead she hears that quiet and cruel voice once again in the overcrowded classroom – and not a word of what Mr. Atkins was saying. Her seat in the last row allows her to see her classmates look around at her inconspicuously – at least that’s what they think they are doing - only to turn back to each other and whisper. Although the music prevents her hearing every word of their quiet conversations, she can feel their mean glances burning into her. These hateful looks feel like a noose around her neck, tightening just enough to become uncomfortable and sometimes hard enough to make her gasp for air – but never enough to actually squeeze the life out of her.

  It is this horrible burden that makes every day a struggle, an inner struggle with herself to go to school. She already had to repeat a year once before because of absenteeism. If she didn’t make it this year, then Scarborough Grammar School would most definitely expel her for good. Her dad had made the situation abundantly clear. He didn’t care why she didn’t go; he simply demanded that she did. He said he didn’t insist on good grades, a simple pass would do. More than once he had explained that he didn’t much enjoy going to work either, but it had to be done. Lia was less than convinced about that, considering how much time he spent at work. She could practically count the hours he spends at home each week on the fingers of one hand.

  “Did you see the black rings under her eyes?” a loud whisper comes from the desk in front of her, while Tracy, the owner of the obnoxious voice, twirls a blond curl around her brightly pink polished fingernail. A cloud of her overbearing perfume engulfs Lia, making her eyes water.

  “She looks like she’s 40, for God’s sake”, counters Sarah, Tracy’s BFF, while casting a contemptuous glance over her shoulder at Lia, who quickly looks down and pretends to be busy with her notes, shuffling some empty sheets around. The perfume is strong enough to give her a headache. “She’s a total psycho anyway, and even the boys only want one thing from her!” Tracy hisses with contempt in her voice and a triumphant look at Lia. She knows very well that Lia can hear every word and it makes her feel powerful.

  There is a moment of silence, and Lia begins to hope that this may be the end of today’s torture, while trying to fight the tightness in her throat. But no, Sarah has more she needs to say. It takes her a few seconds to find some detail with which to get Tracy’s attention once again focused on her.

  “Just look at how cracked her lips are, who knows what she’s been
doing with THEM half the night! What a SLUT!“

  Sarah notes with satisfaction that her ploy has worked. Tracey giggles.

  “Nobody would want her as a real girlfriend anyway. She’s all used up.”

  “You never know what kind of disease you’d get from her!” Sarah eagerly agrees, nodding solemnly.

  “Never cared for what they say

  Never cared for games they play”

  Finally, the bell rings for break time. While the others jump up and leave the classroom in a hurry, Lia stays put. Only after the last of her classmates have left the room she finally gathers up her things under the watchful eye of Mr. Atkins.

  “Liandra, do you need some special invitation to leave?” the teacher’s nagging voice spurns her on.

  “I just had to finish up my notes.” Lia mumbles without looking at Mr. Atkins.

  “I doubt that somehow. You probably didn’t hear a word I said during the last hour with those earphones in.” He pauses for effect and waits for Lia to finally look at him with those piercing green eyes to be sure to have her undivided attention.

  “I don’t expect for a second that you might show some interest in the material I’m teaching, but it would be nice to show some respect and at least pretend to be listening. We both know that history is not exactly your best subject.”

  “Yes, Mr. Atkins”, is Lia’s sheepish response with an apologetic little smile. But the teacher is not so easily appeased.

  “The kind of attitude you have is not going to help you pass the year, you know!”

  Lia nods, gathers up her things and finally escapes from the room and Mr. Atkins’s disapproving frown.

  Her two best friends Lindsay and Mike are impatiently waiting for her in the hall. They had all originially been in the same year, but everything had changed when Lia was held back to repeat the last year.

  “You always take so long! No wonder we can never get good seats in the lunch room. Do you really want to sit next to the bins forever?!” complains Lindsay and rushes off ahead without waiting for an answer. But Mike gives her a reassuring pat on the shoulder and peers at her worriedly through his thick horn-rimmed glasses.

  “Did the others give you grief again?”

  But Lia shakes her head looking dejected. Something is going on every single day and Mike knows it well, so he gives her an encouraging little smile.

  “C’mon its lunch time and you’ve got half the day behind you now.”

  Lia tries to smile back but can manage only a halloweenmask-like grimace.

  As Lindsay had already predicted, the lunch room is full to the point of bursting as they arrive and there are hardly any tables left. While Lia is still dragging her feet along the hallway, Lindsay rushes forward to claim their table. The table is actually meant just for two people and stands in the very back of the room in the corner, directly behind the bins, which of course is why nobody else wants to sit there. It is the official loser table but Lia doesn’t mind sitting there at all, as long as everyone leaves her alone. Lindsay on the other hand has not given up hope of one day claiming one of the sought after tables by the windows.

  Lia quickly heaps a large ladle full of what is advertised as potato gratin onto her plate. She then grabs her favourite Lemon Cola and shuffles over to the cashier. One distinct advantage of arriving late is that there are no queues in front of the cashier, where she could once more become the focus of her fellow student’s nasty remarks. She makes a bee line for her table without looking at anyone, while trying to ignore the loud conversation and laughter all around her. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t let them get to you. Stay calm. She repeats her mantra in her head over and over until she reaches her table without being noticed. She looks back to see where Mike is and watches helplessly as he gets caught by the extended leg of a boy named Bradley. The milkshake on Mike’s tray topples over and splashes onto the floor, while Mike’s thick glasses slip off his nose, and he crashes down right smack into the thick pink puddle. The lunch room erupts in nasty laughter, while Mike, whose face has gone beetroot red, scrambles around on the floor looking for his glasses, without which he is as blind as a bat. Although Lia feels a terrified sweat breaking out all over her body, she rushes to his side and fishes his glasses out of the milkshake mess, while Lindsay, who has also appeared at his side, leads Mike down to their table. Just as Lia is about to straighten up, Bradley appears in front of her with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Lia feels a lump in her throat, which she desperately tries to swallow... she knows what’s coming.

  “Hey Green! My pants got splashed. Don’t you want to suck me dry? I hear you are really good at that.” He already has the crowd going, and there are laughter and cat calls all around, but Bradley feels he has to give it a little more: “Or do you only do it with teachers for better grades? We all know why you are always the last out of the classroom, right?”

  Lia wants nothing more than to slap that horrible grin right off his face, but instead she simply turns around and scuttles off back down to her table by the bins. It doesn’t matter that her grades are shot, which obviously means that Bradley’s accusation couldn’t possibly be true. Nobody cares about the truth, all they care about is laughing at her. Some do it because they like hurting others and some because they don’t want to become the target of Tracey or Bradley’s mean games themselves.

  Lia sits down with her back to the room and tries to slow her breathing. Usually, she would just pop in her earphones and turn the music up as loud as possible, but she can’t do that now with Lindsay and Mike in front of her. Instead, she does her best to get rid of the voices in her head by concentrating fully on her friends. Mike’s pearl green school pants are a mess of pink splashes, which he is unsuccessfully trying to wipe off with a napkin. All he is doing with the rubbing and wiping is making the mess even worse, so Lia reaches out to stop his hand.

  She mumbles – like so many times before: “Leave it alone! I’m so sorry!” Mike and his thick glasses, wild hair, and his strange love for classical music would not have been one of the most popular boys in school anyway. But she knows that his torture had escalated only after he had become her friend. And Mike knew it too, although he always stubbornly rejected the notion, as he does now as well.

  “It isn’t your fault that they are all brainless morons. Don’t worry about it.”

  Lindsay sees it all a little differently. She gives Lia an inquisitive look over her salad plate, peering through her long black bangs.

  “You look like crap, Lia. Were you out again last night?”

  Lindsay asks her that same question at least once a week these days, and embarrassingly enough she had to nod practically every time.

  “When will you ever learn that you can’t go out partying when you have school the next morning?!” she whispers in exasperation, sounding like the worried mother Lia had never had. Trying desperately to pre-empt the inevitable next question, Lia shrugs her shoulders and absentmindedly begins picking her fork into the yellow and beige mess on her own plate.

  “Did you go home on your own?”

  Lia shakes her head and feels more than hears Mike taking a sharp intake of breath next to her.

  “Do you at least know the guy’s name?” is Lindsay’s disgusted next question, after which she shakes her head and stuffs a slice of cucumber into her painted violet lips. It isn’t the first time that Lia feels embarrassed about her own behaviour, and she keeps telling herself that she won’t go out on a school night again – or better yet – that she won’t go out partying at all anymore. Most importantly she tells herself that she won’t take some stranger home with her or go back to his place without anyone knowing where she is... But she has never been able to stick to her own resolutions, and as silly as it sounds – it’s almost like she has to go... She simply can’t hold herself back, and afterwards she always feels like she just didn’t try hard enough. She has no answers, doesn’t really know why she does what she does, especially since she knows full well th
at she will suffer for it the next day in school.

  “I need to take my mind off things”, she faces Lindsay with a stubborn look. After all, that was a better explanation than letting on that she had no control whatsoever over her own body.

  “You know, other people find themselves a hobby and go swimming after school, or play in a band or something. But I guess that isn’t exciting enough for you. You always have to be something special, don’t you? And that you drag us down with you in the process. Well, you obviously don’t give a damn!” Lindsay explodes angrily, simply voicing what Lia already knows. There is no excuse for her behaviour, and nothing she could say would ever matter as long as she can’t get a grip on herself. The puppy dog look in Mike’s eyes, enlarged by his thick glasses, nearly strangles her with guilt.

  “Why don’t you look for a nice boy, who is serious about you?”

  Lia sighs. “I wouldn’t want to do that to anyone.”

  “With that constant mucking about, she’s ruined her chances of being taken seriously anyway“, says Lindsay, giving Mike a dirty look across the table.

  “That’s bull and you know it! There are plenty of boys who would be with her in a heartbeat. They just might be too shy to say something.” He turns to Lia and puts his hand on hers with a smile.

  “You’re a great girl, and anyone who knows you, knows that. And people who can’t appreciate you for who you are don’t deserve you anyway!”

  Lia is so moved by Mike’s kind words that all she can do in her embarrassment is stare straight down to the ground. That was so Mike. Good and kind Mike, always loyal, but thankfully he’s not her type, so she can’t break his heart. At least not more than she was obviously already doing. Lindsay’s derisive and angry snort pulls Lia back to reality. Her eyes are full of hatred as she stares at her two friends’ clasped hands.