Radioactive Read online

  “If it were you, you would find a way,” Zoe claims, incensed. She hates me because I’m not waiting on my own fertilization. But what if I were sitting here today? Would I try to escape? After all, it’s just an artificial insemination. I would have no physical contact with the D-Class resident. He would only be a sperm donor. Nothing more.

  “What are you most afraid of?” I ask Zoe, without mentioning her allegations. I know she does not mean it.

  Taken by surprise, she begins to calm down.

  “I’m not afraid. I just do not want to be pregnant by some stranger. I do not want to be pregnant and know I will never see the child. I want children, but not by just anyone.”

  So it’s not even about the fertilization, it’s about being never being a real mother and bearing a child that will be as much a stranger to you as the person who donated the sperm. I most likely cannot prevent my own fertilization, but at least I can enact some influence in the arena over who the sperm donor is. But I am not mentioning this to Zoe.

  She reaches for my hand desperately. “So there is nothing you can do for me?”

  Sadly, I shake my head.

  She lets go of my hand, lies down on the bed, and turns her back to me. “Then I would like to be alone now.”

  Her rejection hurts, but I’m glad she is not freaked out, screaming, or throwing things because then they would be strapped to the bed. The night would be all the more terrible for her.

  Wordlessly, I leave the room and walk through the corridors of the sickbay, but not aimlessly. I am seeking the laboratory where the sperm donations are kept. I saw it when I was searching for Z318’s cell, so I know I will find it again. The lab is easy to recognize as it is blocked by a glass door. However, I need only put my thumb on the scanner to access the lab. This is one of the moments I love being a Legion commander. Normally, the labs are empty at this time of day, but during mating season there will be B-Class medical personnel working through the night. Samples must not only be taken, but sorted and labeled accordingly. Of course they are agitated when they see me walk in their lab. I recognize the senior doctor from the conferences in the Legion commander sphere. He bows respectfully to me.

  “Legion commander A518, I greet you.”

  “I greet you also, B210.”

  “What can I do for you?”

  “I wanted to look at your work. This is the first mating season that I will witness as an active participant and as a Legion commander. I hope I am not disturbing your work.”

  B210 nods sympathetically. “A Legion commander never interferes. We appreciate your interest. Please look around quietly. I need to leave; there is something I must attend to.”

  He nods to me before hastily leaving the lab. The working B-Class residents are less pleased with my visit. To them I’m a nuisance, partly because I’m in the way, partly because they feel controlled by me. I am sure that each of them will get their job done and to the complete satisfaction of the Legion, but I can imagine how nervous I would be if I had been in the food allocation section and a Legion commander came to inspect our work.

  I do not plan on disturbing them long. On the contrary, I’m interested in where they store the samples. The storage area is hardly ignorable. It is at the end of the room and is closed off by a glass door. White fog emanates from the edges.

  When I open the door, there is a soft hiss and cold air greets me. All of the test tubes containing sperm are sorted by classifications and designations. The first test tube carries the designation A489 and the last one is D599. It does not take long to find the test tube marked D541. I pull it out of its slot. Surreptitiously I glance over my shoulder to see if anyone is watching me, but all seem to be perfectly engrossed in their work. None of them would ever assume that a Legion commander could do anything wrong.

  Determined, I now search for the C-Class. C515, perfect!

  Cautiously, I remove both labels. I place the C515 sticker on D541’s test tube and D541’s sticker on C515’s. I pup the new D541 glass back in its spot.

  “Can I help you?” Someone says behind me and I almost drop the test tube. A young B-Class resident of my generation stands behind me. I check his gaze to see if there is any distrust in his eyes, but he acts polite and courteous.

  “I am looking at the test tubes. It is unbelievable that a new person will emerge from these.”

  “It’s not just people, but better people. We examine each sample to test for diseases or deformities. Already we can influence the size of every human being,” he says proudly. I act interested while I put the test tube designated C515 back where it goes.

  “Why go through the trouble of changing the genes or other features?”

  “If we did not change certain features, it would no longer be possible to identify the outcasts. Only good people have the right to wear the look of the Legion.”

  He sees it as an honor to not be distinguishable from others. Even now I miss the warm brown of my eyes; my true eye color is not this artificial light blue. It’s like a mask the people hide behind.

  “Thanks for your help,” I reply friendly and leave the laboratory. My work is done. That’s all I can do for Zoe. I cannot spare her against unwanted pregnancy, but at least it will now not be the child of just anyone but her and Clyde. I have a feeling that those two have a special relationship with each other. They throw brief looks to each other and the gentle sound of their voices when they talk to each other. It seems as though they depend on each other. Perhaps I am mistaken, I do not have much experience when it comes to feelings, and maybe that’s what makes me realize truths easier. Now we have nine months in order to find a way to allow Zoe to keep her child.

  The next morning the mating battles continue. I have the feeling that more life permeates the audience. They seem more excited about the spectacle than they did the day before. There is anticipation in the air, so delicate and light like the wings of a butterfly.

  Today is the C-Class’s turn, although there are fewer C-Class residents than D-Class residents, the fights will still last throughout the day, since the fighters are the most experienced of all of us. Nobody is better with fighting techniques. As I thought, Clyde and Ruby were among the winners. Of all the fighters, they showed the greatest ambition. Since Ruby is the only one of my friends that is a member of the fourth generation, she is also the only one who has seen the mating fights before, well, not only seen, but participated in as well. I wonder how she must feel, not knowing who her child is and how they are doing.

  On the third day, the B-Class fights take place. The B-Class fights only take up part of the morning as there are less of them and their strength does not lie in physical prowess. Therefore, all residents return to work for the afternoon for a few hours. I had wanted to use this time to visit Zoe, but A350 throws a wrench into my plans by forcing me to analyze recordings of the fights. She shows me the weaknesses of the other fighters and praised skillful maneuvers. The afternoon passes more quickly than I ever dreamed it would.

  On the fourth day the Legion commander mating battles take place. It was clear from the outset that I would compete against A556 as he is the only other Legion commander of our generation. When I confront him in the arena, I can see clearly on his face that he has been looking forward to this fight for a long time. I want to beat his audacious grin off his face with my fists, but the thought of actually touching him makes me gag. The computer voice announces our fight: “A566 versus A518. Three, two, one... Fight!”

  I expected A566 to fire immediately, but nothing of the sort happens. Instead, he seems to be waiting for my reaction. Maybe he’s trying to find out how good I really am and then consider a tactic against me. By now he should know that he must not make the mistake of underestimating me. I’m sure he trained for this fight with A489. A489 has had his fight already and, of course, won. So A566 will want to emulate him. Moreover, it would be a great satisfaction to him to defeat me. However, I have no desire to circle around him like a shy animal that does n
ot dare to attack. Unexpectedly I start to sprint. I think of A350’s words that any means to win is right, and fire off my first shot. But A566 reacts instantly and cleverly dodges it. Now the battle really begins.

  It is clear that we both want to win by any means, but the thought of carrying his child in me for nine months fills me with dread.

  Suddenly, A566 freezes in place and looks stunned behind me. His eyes are wide with fright. Curious, I turn around. There is nothing to see. At this moment, the audience begins to groan loudly and starts screaming. I turn around and just manage to dodge a laser beam as it grazes past my ear. It was a trick. He tried to trick me and would have managed to win if the audience did not warn me. They are on my side. It is the first time the audience has ever picked a side. This certainly fills me with new courage. I will not disappoint them. Furious, I shoot one beam after another at A566 and pursue him across the field. We are equally strong, but I have the support of the audience. Whenever I threaten to slow down, they shout at me. Finally, A566 is getting tired and slow and I land a hit. It comes as a shock, but it is dead on target, right on top of his heart. Exhausted and humiliated, he slumps in the yellow sand. The audience erupts in applause as never before. I pump my fists in the air. I feel like a winner. The people like me and that means I must have done everything right. No matter how the fights will go, nobody can take that away from me.

  Since there is only one fight for the Legion commanders of the fifth generation and two for the fourth generation, the rest of the day the winners of the other rankings compete against each other to decide their final rankings. Here, Asha surprisingly defeated Clyde. She proves that you really can do anything if you really want it. At the end of the day, for the fifth generation only one B-Class resident, one C-Class resident, Asha, Finn, A566, and I remain. A566 was only able to keep his position because he was the only other fifth generation A-Class resident in the fights. It’s an advantage of being a Legion commander. I will not have to fight against him again. With only one fight under my belt, I lead our rankings. It’s unfair, as Asha and Finn have fought several fights to make it this far.

  Even Ruby is in the top rankings of the fourth generation.

  The fifth day is the last day. The most decisive mating battles are about to happen. Today the overall winner is determined and the last known pairings. The computer announces the first fight of the day: “A518 versus D577.”

  I knew it would happen, and now the time has come. My legs feel like rubber. The world begins to spin around me and my steps are not even half as strong and graceful as they should be for a Legion commander. I approach the mark in the center of the arena and look across at Finn already in position. His eyes flash toward me. There is excitement in them. A cheeky grin forms on his lips. This is another indication that this is the old Finn. The new Finn would never be able to smile in this situation. He would take this too seriously. I almost miss him.

  “Three, two, one... Fight!”

  Before I realize what has happened, Finn rushes at me and throws me to the ground. He sits on me and pushes me down into the ground, but I will not give up without a fight. I cannot let him have an easy win; I owe it to the residents of the safety zone. I avoid his head butt and seize the moment of his irritability. I try to free myself, but he grabs me around my ankles and pulls me by the legs. My chin scrapes across the sandy ground. Blood seeps into my mouth and makes me cough. I have no time to worry about it because in the next moment, Finn tries to jump on me, but I manage to kick him in the stomach. He writhes with pain.

  For a moment, I forgot that it is Finn I am fighting. He attacked me with such intensity that I feel that he must hate me. He fights unlike any other. He fights with his body. He fights like the old Finn would fight. Not with laser weapons, but with his fists. Maybe I misinterpreted his determination and this is his way of showing me that he remembers.

  His blow hits me in the face, but I do not feel any pain. I look into his eyes and see fire burning in them and so much heat that it makes me dizzy. I cannot stand up and fall back to the ground. The glaring ceiling lights blur before my eyes. Finn lifts his laser in front of me. He has as good as won. I need to just lie still. He will shoot me and then it will be his seed which will grow inside me. Through our child we will be connected forever. There is nothing I would like to see more. But not today.

  I kick him off his feet and do not hesitate for a moment to shoot him. His is appalled. He cannot believe what just happened. When the realization comes, he looks at me so stunned, shocked that I would shoot him.

  At the start of the next fight, I am already back in the stands next to A350. She appears as though she was more than happy with my performance. Maybe she did not expect that I would defeat Finn. Even if he hates me now, I do not regret it. Finn is an enemy of the Legion. I would like him to father a child with me, but not like this. Not in the Legion. It would always be a reminder of his captivity. I love Finn too much to do that to him.

  “A566 versus D560.”

  For a moment, my heart stops beating. I had hoped Asha could have avoided fighting him, but when I see her come into the arena, I can see pride and determination in her eyes. This is what she wanted from the start. She wanted to fight him. She wanted to humiliate him in front of everyone. An inconspicuous and weak D-Class resident defeating a great Legion commander. If I could beat A566, so can she. She is the better of us.

  “Three, two, one... Fight!”

  Immediately Asha fires her first shot. It is almost like a fireball hurtling toward A566. I have the feeling that I have never seen such a powerful laser beam. Her will must have transferred to the device, figuratively speaking, of course. A566 dodged her attack. It is not enough that he was defeated by me; he will not let Asha defeat him. In his eyes she was always unworthy and inferior to him. He would rather bite off his tongue than be humiliated by her.

  Shot after shot hisses across the field. The spectators hold their breath, never have they witnessed a more intense fight. Only now that it is silent have I been able to hear something that I have been unable to hear in any of the other fights: The hiss of the laser. From training, I know that they only hiss when they are set to a higher level. Therefore her laser is stronger than A566’s. Her next shot grazes A566’s leg, he falls over in pain. It was never Asha’s plan to simply defeat A566. She wants to kill him.

  Seeking help, I look around the stands. The other Legion commanders have now realized something is wrong, however they seem totally clueless about what to do about it.

  “She is using a fully powered laser gun, we must stop the fight immediately,” I blurt out to A233.

  “We will have to vote on this matter,” A320 calls out. At this moment, A566 has powered up his laser and clips a shot past Asha’s ear.

  “They will continue to hurt each other,” A350 interjects.

  “Somebody has to stop this,” I scream in a panic.

  Instantly A233 grabs the microphone, “This battle is over and must be stopped immediately.”

  Neither Asha nor A566 react to the order. They are now fighting a life or death struggle. The spectators have noticed what is going on and break out into a panic. Some flee the arena; others are afraid and cannot bring themselves to move.

  No matter what A233 commands them to do, Asha and A566 will only stop fighting when one of them is dead on the ground. I have no time to wait for the other Legion commanders. I stumble down the stairs as people flow past me as they rush toward the exits. Once I finally make it onto the battlefield, Asha had just fired a hit upon A566. He falls to the ground and starts twitching. I do not care what happens to A566 right now, the only thing important to me is Asha. I grab her by the arm and drag her behind me from the arena. If she killed A566, the Legion will also kill her. We have no time to lose and we are left with only one option: We must flee.

  18. THE FLIGHT

  Asha and I literally plunge into the elevator. We hope that the fighters have their hands full with the panic at the arena and d
on’t have anyone posted to the elevators. For the rebels that would be the perfect time to attack, but I doubt Asha told anyone of her plan. She forged it alone if it was ever planned. Most likely it was a knee-jerk reaction. I cannot blame her. A566 made her life a living hell.

  The elevator doors slide open silently and we jump onto a desert drifter. Asha controls the vehicle as though she had never done anything else in her life and I navigate her toward the caves. It’s only noon, so the sky is high in the sky. Even as we approach the caves, I realize they have been abandoned. I did not expect anything else, but the sight still shocks me.

  Asha stops the desert drifter and we go into the caves without a word. The fields in which the rebels grew their food has been trampled and logs around the water reservoir have been turned into kindling. There was some intense fighting here. I enter the entrance to the caves almost reverently. The large table in the middle of the room was divided in half by a laser beam. The chairs are scattered on the ground and pots of seasonings are emptied all over the place. A track of flour runs like blood through the entire space. It hurts to return to this place that almost felt like home and find it so devastated. I cannot bring myself to even enter through the other rooms and propose that we should look for the rebels in the forest. We leave the desert drifter and walk to the forest as we could not drive the drifter for the trees.

  In an area covered by pine needles, many different footprint patters can be seen, remnants of a hasty flight. The grass is trampled and the moss has been churned. We follow the tracks until they are narrower and soon we lose them completely. My concern rises with every step, while Asha seems to become more and more relaxed. Her gaze wanders from one tree to another, marveling at the sky, and with a smile, back to the soft ground. Her fingers touch the bark of a tree and strip off green leaves. She is enchanted by the sight of nature. I remember what it was like for me when I saw the stars for the first time. But I do not have the time to share Asha’s joy. I have a bad feeling about this. The Legion is looking for us. Asha is a murderer and I am a traitor because I helped her to escape. I have let Zoe and Finn down and disappointed A350. She believed so strongly in me, and I turned my back on her when I opened the elevator door for Asha. I should have let her go alone, but without my help, she would have never found the rebels. Without me, the Legion would have caught and killed her. When I helped her, I did not think about the consequences for a second. I only needed to save her life. Do I regret my actions? I don’t know.